If you are anything like me, there are certain times of the year when you become especially contemplative. For me this occurs on my birthday and New Year's Eve. Yes, I know today is the 30th, but I've been reflecting on the state of affairs concerning my life so far.
I used to think that things would just happen, e.g. Mr Right would just come along, the perfect job would fall into my lap, I would travel the world etc. That's the way it has happened for just about everyone I know. There wasn't any striving - it just seemed that when it was their time, things just slotted into place. I automatically assumed that would be the story of my life too. I couldn't understand why it was that, when I would have various reunions with friends, my life was the only one that was unchanged since the last time we had met. I was the only one who wasn't married, didn't have kids, wasn't in a long-term job, didn't yet have my own place, wasn't driving etc.
I would chide myself for not trying hard enough, or for not being focussed enough. Now this was the case in some of the scenarios I ran through my head, but not in all. I recalled the hundreds of jobs I had applied for, which didn't result in success. I thought about all of the networking I had done, and all of the things I had tried to do to create the type of life that I wanted for myself to no avail.
I was watching the Biography channel while I was at my mother's house over Christmas. They spoke about George Clooney's path to fame. Before he made it big, he was written off as a failed actor by everyone in the film industry and many of his friends. One of the contributors joked that he was the "Pilot King" because every time a new show was starting you would more than likely see George starring in it. Every one of the shows tanked, which did not help his situation! By the age of 31 he had not made his name in Hollywood despite slogging away at it for 12 years. Even though the movie industry is a lot more gracious to men than it is to women with regards to age, it is the general rule that if you have not caught the eye of the studios by your early twenties, then you should pack your bags and go home and definitely think about embarking on a completely different career.
By this time George was flat broke and sleeping on a friend's sofa who now wanted him out. He was criticised by many as being lazy and lacking ambition – how else could a jobless, homeless 31 year old be described? Others in his field of the same age had been working in their careers for at least a decade with more success than him. Other friends had settled down with spouses, children and their own homes. What was wrong with this guy?
At this time Hollywood was abuzz with talk of a script for a new show that could be a hit; the studios liked the concept and a call was put out for actors to fill the part. George the Pilot King was called for an audition; he got the part and went on to become a household favourite as Dr Doug Ross, aka Gorgeous George, in the fast-paced hospital drama ER. The rest, as they say, is history.
Ok, so I’m a bit older than Mr Clooney but our lives matched in every area detailed on that show. It gave me hope that even though I’m the only one out of my peers who hasn’t hit any of the expected life markers and still seems to be drifting, I know that as I keep going something will give. I have often wondered why, for all of the efforts I have made, that I have not tasted the success that those around me seemed to have gained with half the effort. But this is my unique path. This is my story. Why it has to be this way has yet to be revealed, but it will definitely be a sweet moment to savour when everything aligns and I’m living in my destiny.
If this bears witness with you, I just want to give you an encouraging word: keep on going. If it has been confirmed that you have the talent, and you enjoy what you are doing, STICK WITH IT. You are not alone, others have experienced the exact same thing that you are going through right now, but as they persevered they eventually got what they had been looking for all the while. You have been sowing seed all this time; who’s to say that harvest time isn’t just around the corner for you? Don’t give up!
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