Embracing 2011!

Happy New Year to you all! I didn't make any resolutions for the simple reason that they only last about 15 minutes! I have set myself a few goals though which I will keep to myself for now, but one of the main things I've been looking at is how my mindset determines the direction of my life.

I'm sure you've heard a number of catch phrases about the power of belief, quite possibly without realising the full significance of the statements that were made. "Think positive", "believe it and you will achieve it", "if you think something bad will happen it will", "it's mind over matter," "be determined", etc, etc. I've heard things like this and more over the years. I used to dismiss these statements as being those of New Agers and others who had a penchant for hugging trees and rocks in the New Forest!

But there is a lot of truth in these sayings. One of the first statements I ever heard along these lines was from the bible: "...For as a man thinks in his heart, so is he." Proverbs 23:7. Simply put, we are what we think.

I have a very clear example from my own life about this truth. I am very tall, and growing up I absolutely hated it. I hated people staring at me and all of the comments that went with those stares. I can still tell when someone is referring to my height in another language! Whenever I had to go out somewhere, before I had even set foot outside, my heart would race with anxiety as I imagined people staring and laughing at me. More often than not this is exactly what happened. I would never visit crowded places; I would seldom go to parties or weddings unless I absolutely had to go. I just didn't want to be seen; sometimes I would spend days without going outside. If I had to go to the High Street, I would take the routes which ensured minimal contact with other people.

Then one day, after an experience which changed my concept of my height, I decided not to focus on people's reactions and attitudes to my height any more. I made a choice to embrace who I was, enjoy my height, go where I pleased and not bother about people's foolishness. You know what? The number of unpleasant incidents dropped from happening every day to hardly ever happening at all. What had changed? I hadn't moved to another country or another part of the City; people hadn't changed, but my mind had. I had always walked tall, but now my confidence and my attitude walked tall too! People are always commenting on how amazing and pleasant it is to see someone who isn't ashamed of their height and who doesn't try and disguise it with a stoop. All I did was change my mindset and the results became evident to all.

I was thinking about this quite a bit yesterday; what would happen if I changed my mind in other areas of my life where I want things to be different? At times I can be quite defeatist when things don't happen the way I want them to first time round or as quickly as I would like and so I give up, but what if approached each challenge or obstacle with the belief that they could be overcome? What if I actually started to believe that I can be a writer of note and take steps in that direction, rather than comparing myself to others and telling myself that I don't measure up? What if I approached everything with the belief that I can, I will, I am good enough, nothing is out of my reach and nothing is impossible for me? What would my life look like with this approach? Well, if the results from my change in attitude about my height are anything to go by, my life would be pretty amazing!

One of the things I purposed today was that I want my life from now on to be an adventure. I'm challenging myself to strap myself firmly into my seat on this roller coaster ride that is my life, throw my hands up in the air and, as I take all the dips, turns and loops that are unique to my life, I want to embrace every element of what lies in store for me with a positive outlook. Yes, unpleasant things may happen along the way, but I won't let setbacks alter my course anymore. I choose to enjoy my life and become who I am destined to be in the process. Life was always supposed to be an incredible, exhilarating journey. It still can be. But because for a while my view was obscured by my concerns about how I looked and how people treated me, I totally lost sight of how fantastic it is to be alive!

Life in the Tall Lane just got a lot more fun! Here's to 2011 being the greatest year of my life so far!

Goodbye to 2010!

Hiya! I went out earlier today to try and capture the last few moments of 2010. I passed through Oxford Street and was surprised at how many people were there, more than were there on Christmas Eve, which is strange.

I then passed through Regents Park, my spiritual home. It was a bit grey and grim but it was nice to be there nevertheless. I was surprised to discover that parts of the lake were still frozen. All the snow and ice has melted everywhere else in London.

Well, I'll leave you with a few pictures of my adventures so far today. I'm getting ready to go out for the evening, so until my next post, have a wonderful New Year. Have fun, whatever you do!

BelindaXXX

Don't give up yet

If you are anything like me, there are certain times of the year when you become especially contemplative. For me this occurs on my birthday and New Year's Eve. Yes, I know today is the 30th, but I've been reflecting on the state of affairs concerning my life so far.

I used to think that things would just happen, e.g. Mr Right would just come along, the perfect job would fall into my lap, I would travel the world etc. That's the way it has happened for just about everyone I know. There wasn't any striving - it just seemed that when it was their time, things just slotted into place. I automatically assumed that would be the story of my life too. I couldn't understand why it was that, when I would have various reunions with friends, my life was the only one that was unchanged since the last time we had met. I was the only one who wasn't married, didn't have kids, wasn't in a long-term job, didn't yet have my own place, wasn't driving etc.

I would chide myself for not trying hard enough, or for not being focussed enough. Now this was the case in some of the scenarios I ran through my head, but not in all. I recalled the hundreds of jobs I had applied for, which didn't result in success. I thought about all of the networking I had done, and all of the things I had tried to do to create the type of life that I wanted for myself to no avail.

I was watching the Biography channel while I was at my mother's house over Christmas. They spoke about George Clooney's path to fame. Before he made it big, he was written off as a failed actor by everyone in the film industry and many of his friends. One of the contributors joked that he was the "Pilot King" because every time a new show was starting you would more than likely see George starring in it. Every one of the shows tanked, which did not help his situation! By the age of 31 he had not made his name in Hollywood despite slogging away at it for 12 years. Even though the movie industry is a lot more gracious to men than it is to women with regards to age, it is the general rule that if you have not caught the eye of the studios by your early twenties, then you should pack your bags and go home and definitely think about embarking on a completely different career.

By this time George was flat broke and sleeping on a friend's sofa who now wanted him out. He was criticised by many as being lazy and lacking ambition – how else could a jobless, homeless 31 year old be described? Others in his field of the same age had been working in their careers for at least a decade with more success than him. Other friends had settled down with spouses, children and their own homes. What was wrong with this guy?

At this time Hollywood was abuzz with talk of a script for a new show that could be a hit; the studios liked the concept and a call was put out for actors to fill the part. George the Pilot King was called for an audition; he got the part and went on to become a household favourite as Dr Doug Ross, aka Gorgeous George, in the fast-paced hospital drama ER. The rest, as they say, is history.

Ok, so I’m a bit older than Mr Clooney but our lives matched in every area detailed on that show. It gave me hope that even though I’m the only one out of my peers who hasn’t hit any of the expected life markers and still seems to be drifting, I know that as I keep going something will give. I have often wondered why, for all of the efforts I have made, that I have not tasted the success that those around me seemed to have gained with half the effort. But this is my unique path. This is my story. Why it has to be this way has yet to be revealed, but it will definitely be a sweet moment to savour when everything aligns and I’m living in my destiny.

If this bears witness with you, I just want to give you an encouraging word: keep on going. If it has been confirmed that you have the talent, and you enjoy what you are doing, STICK WITH IT. You are not alone, others have experienced the exact same thing that you are going through right now, but as they persevered they eventually got what they had been looking for all the while. You have been sowing seed all this time; who’s to say that harvest time isn’t just around the corner for you? Don’t give up!

How was your Christmas?

I've just back from my mum's house where I spent Christmas. It was a nice time. Lots of food; didn't eat as much as I usually do, but I'm sure I'm heavier than I was before Christmas! Speak to you again soon!


Our turkey which weighed in at 9.8 kilos!


Rice that my mother made.


Plantains, an African and Caribbean staple with food.


The tree at my mum's house with presents.

Christmas Eve!

Well, I made it to and from Oxford Street in one piece. It was a totally underwhelming experience. I expected the streets to be bulging as people frantically dashed to and fro snagging last minute gifts for friends. If I'm not mistaken, there were less people there than normal.

Any how I met up with a friend for lunch. The meal wasn't anything to write home about, but the bill made one's eyes water!

That's all from me. Have a wonderful Christmas. Speak to you again soon!


Courgette and potato soup. Lacked flavour - the toasted bread was nice, though.


Spinach and cheese ravioli. Also tasteless, but a healthy main meal!


My dessert was a boring, unattractive looking apple slice. My friend's order looked a lot more interesting, it was a ricotta mouse with fun stuff on it.

My first foray into the Christmas rush

Hi there people! I plucked up the courage to venture into the Christmas crowds to get my last few bits for the big day. So far so good! I went shopping in Brixton first of all which was fun with my camera! It was bitterly cold though! As you couldn't phsically be with me, I brought Brixton to you. Tomorrow, Oxford Street! Not a trip for the faint hearted on Christmas Eve! See you then!



A selection of fish at the indoor market.


Mackerel, my favourite fish! I bought some today.


Squid, anyone?


LOL! There are lots of Caribbean restaurants in London. This one happens to be a kiosk. In the summer there would be people sitting on those three chairs outside.


They aren't joking!


Spices from around the world.


These are called Flying Saucers, my absolute favourites. I bought a load of them today!


I loved Wham's!


Sherbet Dip Dabs - yum! The objects to the right had sweet blocks inside and also doubled up as whistles.


I loved all of these sweets, Black Jacks were my least favourite though.


The Fruit Salad's are delish!


There is a shop in Brixton Arcade called Sweet Tooth, which sells sweets that I used to have as a child. These ones were amongst my favourite. The price is exactly the same!


These guys asked to have their pictures taken! They were cool dudes!


Meat sellers only too happy to pose for the camera! They were fun!


More wonderful fruit.


There are loads of stalls selling fruits and vegetables from all over the world. They always have vast supplies of produce.


The outdoor market is a essentially a long line of stalls selling anything from handbags to meat.


The kiosk in Brixton where I go to satisfy my sugar cravings!


The Ritzy - a famous cinema in South London.


KFC - A favourite place for many!


Brixton Town Centre

My book is at the editors!

Hey people! I'm so excited. Have you ever had a dream or plan knocking around in your mind for a while that you always planned to do something with "one day" but never really did?

Well that has been me for a long time. I am a bit of a procrastinator, but I vowed that I would write my book. It is aimed at helping people whose lives have been scarred by bullying continue on to live healthy, successful lives. I've been writing it on and off for a year, having major writing spurts at times and then nothing for ages. I've got it up to the best shape it can be in for now, and I have sent it off to an editor to proof read and make suggestions before I look for publishers.

It doesn't feel real at the moment; I'm sure that will change when I get the bill! But I am actually doing something that I had planned to do. The dream is becoming a reality!